Parents and children

Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6.1-4

Parents are quick to point out to their children the words ‘children obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.’

That’s true of course – but those words are tempered with the words ‘fathers, don’t provoke your children to wrath.’

The parent/child relationship is, like all of the relationships here, a two way street. Children must submit to their parents, but the parents have the huge responsibility not to abuse their authority by provoking their children to disobedience.

If parents are not provoking their children to wrath the children are far more likely to obey. The onus is not on the kids, it is on us. We can be so focused on our authority and getting the kids to obey us that sometimes we make that more important than how we treat them. We can demand obedience without giving them a reason to obey us.

This is a fine balance for us to find. We must expect and require obedience, but we can’t provoke while we do it. It is a tough task, I’ve been then and sadly I am afraid I have done my share of ‘provoking.’