May it not be charged against them

At my first defense no one stood with me, but all forsook me. May it not be charged against them. - 2 Timothy 4v16 

This whole section makes me cry every time I read it. ‘Demas has forsaken me because he loved the world too much. He went to Thessalinica. Crescens went to Galatia. Titus went to Dalmatia. I sent Tychicus to Ephesus. Only Luke has stayed with me. Bring John Mark when you come (the same John Mark that Paul once rejected). Bring my coat; bring the books and my parchments. Beware of Alexander the coppersmith, he did a lot of damage to the ministry. At my first trial no one stood by my side.’ 

You can sense Paul’s true heart here. He is the great missionary evangelist. He has been through it all. He has seen so many struggles and trials. But now he is feeling alone. His co-workers have gone on their own way, at least some for wrong reasons. Some have even opposed him and his ministry and done damage to them. My heart hurts when I see him standing all alone before Caesar’s court.

 

I can easily see myself in ‘pity party pit’ if I were Paul. I can also see myself angry and maybe even seeking revenge. I can see my feelings being hurt. I can see myself asking God why. 

Paul leaves it is God’s hands. For Alexander, who caused much damage, Paul just said – ‘may the Lord reward him according to his work. 

I love closing remarks about these men though. Jesus said, ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.’ As Paul held the cloaks of the stoners he had heard Stephen say, ‘Lord, don’t lay this sin to their charge.’ Now Paul says something very similar – “may it not be charged against them.’ 

What kind of heart does it take to say this kind of thing? Abandoned, betrayed, and alone Paul could say – ‘don’t hold it against them.’ Paul, in quite possibly his last hours, was truly conformed to the image of Christ. 

What a heart. What an example. What a challenge.