one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence (for if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?); - 1 Timothy 3v4-5
This, admittedly, is a tough one for any pastor. He must rule his own house well, his children, must be in submission, and they must honour his position as their father. I think it is interesting to note that this is the pastor’s responsibility, not the children. There is all kinds of debate about the age of the children, in or out of the home, etc. I think part of this is the phrase ‘his own house.’ That would seem to indicate the children that are in his own dwelling, but I am not sure of that.
Let’s look at the principle here – if a pastor cannot preside over his own household properly, how is he supposed to take care of the church. How can he oversee the church when he can’t even maintain his own family?
It is far too easy to get our priorities backwards here. We tend to think that the church is our important work. If someone from church needs us we will drop everything to run out and do our duty. We have to look good to the church so they will respect us, or so we think.
Meanwhile pastor’s families fall apart at the seams. If we can’t keep our kids in decent shape, what makes us think we are going to do it for the church?
1 comment:
Yeah - this one has to be tough! First of all, your child knows who you REALLY are, not just what you project from the pulpit so there has to be real relationship, true humility, and two-way communication that doesn't squash the child to make dad look good in front of the congregation--it's daily "shepherding your child's heart" (to steal a book title). Second, it's got to be tough to have the self-discipline to treat your children as God intended: a FULL-TIME ministry both separate from AND part of your VOCATIONAL ministry. It's 2 distinct relationships - your child & a member of your congregation. A man has to plan his time and plan both his family and vocational ministries - there can't be much flying by the seat of the pants or there will be lots of crashing and burning. This also ties back to the prior theme of legalism too. A pastor has to do what God's Word commands him to do and not get caught up in the legalism of other people's expectations. Only by God's grace and with submission to His Word & Spirit can a man successfully walk this tightrope. I think you have throw in the "husband of one wife" in this category too - He has to be so committed to her that nothing (ministry, work, congregation, etc.) becomes an adulterous relationship for him.
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