And he said, “Who are You, Lord?”
Then the Lord said, “I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick against the goads.” – Acts 9.4-5
After studying through this passage recently I am convinced that for me this is one of the saddest, and at the same time one of the most compassionate sayings in all of scripture.
Saul was on his way to Damascus with a commission to round up Christians and throw them in jail. He was a job he relished, in fact a job he had asked for. He was furious to the point of ‘breathing out threat and murders.’
Why was Saul so angry? It seems abnormal for him to be this upset. What was in his heart to motivate him?
Jesus knew. To the question ‘who are you?’ Jesus answered ‘I am Jesus who you are persecuting. It is hard for you to kick agains the goads.’
What kind of prodding was Saul kicking against?
We certainly can’t know for sure, but I think there is a hint in Romans 16 where he asks to greet ‘his countrymen and fellow prisoners who were in Christ before him.’ That word for countrymen can also be translated kinsmen or family. Either was, though we can’t be certain, it looks like there were people he knew who were Christians before he was. Perhaps that was part of what he was fighting against.
I am sure was well that whether it was these people or not somehow the Holy Spirit had been poking and prodding Saul to be saved and Saul was doing all the could do to fight it. Jesus knew that and understood that Saul was struggling agains God’s workings in his heart.
When I studied this recently I thought about how often we have friends or loved ones or even family who seem to be hardened against any kind of mention of the gospel. It can be hard to understand why they act that way.
Maybe here though we have a clue. Maybe we have loved ones who weighed down and wearied from kicking at the goads. Maybe we have those who instead of our frustration need our compassion.
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