Honouring parents

Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee. – Exodus 20.12

I know that every generation has accused the next generation of a lack of honour or respect. Cicero, for example, is credited with saying ‘“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.’ That problem still persists, and no generation is immune.

The problem is simple. For a while children think their parents are everything. Parents are the be all and end all. But as they age and begin to think for themselves they begin to see things from their own perspective and it doesn’t always match up to what parents says and think. That is a good thing and we ought to encourage our children to think for themselves and respectfully express their views.

But honour and respect are always the key.

I like this little image of how life goes.

When I was 4 years old – ‘My Daddy can do anything’

When I was 5 years old – ‘My Daddy knows a whole lot’

When I was 6 years old – ‘My Dad is smarter than your Dad’

When I was 8 years old – ‘My Dad makes me so mad sometimes.’

When I was 10 years old – ‘In the olden days when my Dad grew up, things were so different’

When I was 12 years old – ‘Oh well, naturally Dad doesn’t know anything about that, he is too old to remember his childhood’

When I was 14 years old – ‘Don’t pay any attention to my Dad, he is so old fashioned’

When I was 21 years old – ‘Him? He just doesn’t get it.’

When I was 30 years old – ‘Maybe we should ask Dad what he thinks, after all, he’s had a lot of experience’

When I was 35 years old – ‘Let me talk to Dad about it!’

When I was 40 years old – ‘I wonder how Dad would’ve handled it, he was so wise’

When I was 50 years old – ‘I’d give anything if Dad were here now so I could talk this over with him. Too bad I didn’t appreciate how smart he was. I could’ve learned a lot from him.’

Author – Ann Landers (slightly adapted)

I do notice that honouring parents does seem to get better as the years go by. We learn that even with their flaws and weaknesses and failures that our parents are due respect. Of course, there are exceptions where parents are cruel and abusive, but even then I watch how children begin to see those slight glimmers of positivity in their parents as they age and approach death.

Parents are not always right. We (they) made mistakes, make mistakes, and will continue to make mistakes. But they are due our honour and respect.

I know one thing – I wish mine were still here to talk to and get counsel.